To Counter the White Knight! My Lotto Plan.

Alright, I've actually wanted to do this post for eons, and it seems fun to bust this out now in tandem with Whitey's post! 

You may have read in his what the options are, but if not:

You take the blue pill, and receive your full amount of money over time.  It takes for-fucking-ever, but you'd get the full 96 mil over the course of 9 lifetimes.  Not bad, if you're fundamentally greedy.

You take the red pill, and get roughly 35-40% of the earnings in one lump sum.  After the lottery and Uncle Sam say "Whoa whoa, hold your horses there." and rape your winnings, you'd be left with about 38 mil, which is STILL a formidable amount of cash.

The thing about me, is that if I won, I'd learn from past winners of the lottery.  No, I'm not gonna buy a car for each day of the week.  No, I'm not gonna buy a solid gold toilet.  No, I'm not gonna buy Le Grand Cigar.  No, I'm not gonna fill a mansion with exotic animals and expensive hookers. 

I'm a simple guy with insane tastes and a keen mind.  So, anyways, here's how it all goes down. Assuming I have 38 mil to fuck with BTW.

Step 1:  HOLY FUCKING HOBBIT TESTICLES, I JUST WON THE GODDAMN LOTTERY!!  Tell Mom and Pop and watch them lose bladder control and sob uncontrollably. 

Step 2: Split the money, 20 mil for me, 18 mil for Mom and Dad.  I'm content with 20; Mom and Dad still have three kids to raise.  Seems fair to me.  18 mil to pay off one debts, and live comfortably until the Angel arrives.  Love you guys.

Step 3:  I'm OUTSKIS!!  Move the fuck out.  Take my games and my shit and buy a simple condo somewhere.  Buy the best gaming router and internet money can buy, and get my techy 2nd Life online.  Also buy food and things necessary for staving off Death. 

Step 4:  Sexy Party.  Not even fucking kidding.

Step 5:  Clean up and have nice wholesome Housewarming party!  Friends, games, PIZZAAAAAA, zombie movies, the whole enchilada.  Speaking of which, there'd also be Mexican food.

Now that I have a place of my own, it's time to buy myself something nice.  Just one thing.  A new car.  I have no idea what it would be as of yet, but something stylish, a hybrid, and not retardedly overpriced.  Once I have obtained said car, it's time to relax for a little while. 

Time to travel to come of my favorite places in the world and spend time there.  Spain, Europe, Greece, Italy, France, everywhere.  Just take some money and see the world, you know? 

Upon my return, I would build my livelihood.  Much fun as being lazy can be, I would become entirely too bored to lay around and do nothing for the rest of my life.  Behold, the gamer's paradise:

THE GRID.  Not a Tron reference.
The Grid would be my gift to gamers, a well maintained place where one can game and feel some sense of community.  It'd be kind of like a parlor, with flat screen stations connected to various systems.  You'd have an incredible library of games to choose from!  Pay a paltry fee per hour, and use our online gaming to play whatever you wish. There'd also be section for PC gaming, and games you could choose from there.  Of course, with me running the place, there'd be no 6-year-olds shooting shit on Call of Duty, and no preteens slaying zombies, even with parental consent.  Any douche bag teens have a problem, my bouncer "Fisty" will have a word with them.  I know this has been done before (looking at YOU, NextGen Gaming!)m but mine will be done on a much grander scale, in amazing facilities, and with much more creature comforts.  Comforts such as a snack bar, comfortable seating, and decorated facilities. 

But this isn't all.  There's an underground side to this thing. Through a different route within the parlor, lies the entrance to the Psycho Crusher.  A fighting game stadium the likes of which this world has never seen!  Still working on the name, perhaps something less stupid, haha.

Anyways, this place will be THE place to be for Socal Regionals and different tournaments, both big name and my own private ones.  A huge screen will show the audience the fight, as in the center, two combatants duke it out on two arcade cabinets.  These cabinets will be outfitted to play a plethora of fighting games, or maybe I'll just have cabinets for each game, not sure yet depending on legality.  It'll be decorated like steampunk industrial and have bleachers to seat spectators and awaiting combatants.  It's a rough idea, but with my imagination, it'll be amazing.

*sigh*  Someday, am I right children?  Nothing but a far off dream so far....