It's been an interesting time in my brain the last few weeks. Amid a few sleepless nights, it's been a dream-fest, which is a little unusual considering normally I don't dream too often anymore. More interesting still is what floats to the surface when I dream.
Some nights it's about fighting. Fighting against Evil Me, fighting to save someone I care about, fighting to save the planet, and self sacrifice. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, usually it's all very brief flashes and a feeling.
Other nights it's purely sexual. About sexual taboos I explore, my own fetishes, perhaps people I lust after. Usually these kinds of dreams are like segmented movies, mini scenes play out in my head and link to eachother.
Other times I get the recurring dream. Odd scenarios that play out in my head on certain nights. For example, I dream about having a party with all my friends. We're fathoms under the ocean in some neo-marine club made from thick glass, giving you an amazing view of the ocean life while you party the night away. But, without warning, the glass starts cracking, and one pan shatters. As water starts pouring in, I'm swimming around, trying to scream and find my friends before all is lost.
Another recurring dream is of a house. Kind of a weird fusion of my old house and my grandparents current house. I'm being beckoned by some voice, it's very gutteral and almost robotic sometimes. I'm walking through the empty house, passing by old furniture and random decor. Suddenly my view twists and there it is, the stairs. Every night I get closer to the stairs. I know something is behind/under them, and I wonder if I might see what's there some night.
Lately though, I've been having irritating dreams about being with someone. Like, we're in a relationship, and all's going really well with it. The girl I'm with changes from time to time, its weird. Sometime I don't know who she is, in reality, but in the dream she's my soul mate. What irks me is the girl sometimes. It's not always who I'd expect, or even think about. Definitely has made me think about things though...after all, a dream is completely uninhibited.
*sigh* I dunno, maybe I'm just more fucked in the head than other people. All I can say is that these play to my personality. I can be pretty protective, and self-sacrificing if I care, hence the fighter dreams. I'm sure there are other links, but I'm not feeling "deep" right now. I think the worst part about a relationship dream is waking up. Suddenly I realize, it's just me. I'm still single, still quite alone, and that was all a construct.
All part of the plan...
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